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09.05.17

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in the lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible…it’s yours.” ~Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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Are You Coachable?

09.22.12

Are you willing and able to make changes and invest in your personal and professional development? Would you like a partner who will challenge you to pursue major wins and be supportive of you through that process?

What is Coaching?

Coaching is a partnership-based process of development that is custom tailored to your individual needs.As your coach, my job is to help you:
• Clarify and focus on your core values and personal vision for success
• See beyond your present circumstances and embrace possibilities
• Realistically assess your personal strengths and weaknesses
• Establish meaningful goals and implement strategies to achieve them
• Identify and remove obstacles and self-defeating behaviors
• Develop a healthier balance between your personal and professional lives
• Live more passionately and intentionally
• Feel safely supported and acknowledged in your quest for personal & professional growth

Why Does Coaching Work?
Coaching works because it is tailored to you as an individual rather than being a “one-size-fits-all” approach. Unlike a seminar-based program or a onetime “event”, coaching is an on-going relationship that helps you focus on real issues, take action, gauge results, and process what you’ve learned with an objective partner.

You may be a recent graduate…
Now you want to fulfill your life dreams and set up a practice. If you’re like most recent grads, you have very little experience or education on how to do it.
…or perhaps you’ve been in practice for a while and just need advice.

Why you need a coach…
Through coaching, I will help you develop more focus, eliminate obstacles and reduce stress in both your practice and personal life. I will draw out the best in you by asking lots of direct and challenging questions and then listening carefully for your values, your strengths, and for what may be holding you back. I expect a great deal from my clients. Clients with whom I work tell me they feel safe, supported, non-judged, and empowered to take action steps they need to succeed way beyond their wildest expectations.

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Make Peace With Change

01.26.12

Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Make peace with change. Powerful stuff.

It’s all about perception…about how we deal with memories…how those memories effect our current thoughts and feelings that determine how we deal with what’s happening today…
In his book, ‘The Power of Now’, Eckhart Tolle put things in perspective for me, yet I still found it difficult to fully let go of the past. It was then I was reminded of my experience on the flying trapeze, and how that young kid told me, ‘you’ve got to let go of what’s behind you if you ever expect to move forward.’
I didn’t fully comprehend the larger meaning of his words until years later.
Today I know I can rid myself (and others) of limiting thoughts and grow my soul from within.

“Today I am thankful for friends who make me think and allow me to see beyond the obvious.” ~Just my $.02

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Using ‘Energy Psychology’ to remove self-limiting beliefs

01.21.12

I’m very excited to let you know about the latest addition to Headspace. One of the basic tenets of my practice has been to help my clients shed their limiting beliefs and replace them with beliefs that will empower them. We are now incorporating a way to put that process on steroids!

It’s called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)  It’s an “Energy Psychology” based on the theory that emotional problems are caused by disruptions in the energy system of the body. Tapping on specific energy points (acupuncture points) almost always allows release of these emotions and usually creates rapid, long-lasting relief.  It’s sort of a combination of acupressure and Neurolinguistic Programing (NLP)

Effective for a wide range of applications

EFT is completely safe. It is non-invasive, gentle and often works when nothing else has. EFT can be used on any emotional or physical issue. It has been used successfully on everything from a minor emotional irritation to major traumas such as sexual abuse, war memories and childhood abuse. It is around 95% effective for emotional issues and around 70–80% effective on physical issues. Once all aspects of an issue are “collapsed,” healing can be permanent. It is also useful for physical conditions, which can frequently be based in an interruption of energy meridians of the body.

Healing Self-Limiting beliefs

EFT is unsurpassed at healing our limiting, negative core beliefs and installing positive beliefs in their place. The technique quickly eliminates emotions that hold negative beliefs in place, and then collapses the belief itself, while replacing it with new, life-enhancing beliefs.  EFT can be used to quickly release any unwanted memory, trauma or simple phobia.

EFT is equally effective on simple issues or complex issues with many elements, emotions and layers.

There is no traumatic re-living of the upsetting life events.

Issues can be and usually are, healed with a minimum of emotional pain. We don’t WANT you to get angry, fearful or tearful! These emotional states will actually slow down the healing process, and we employ a variety of methods to bring healing in the most gentle way possible.

Stay tuned for more information on this wonderful addition to our practice as we strive to find new and effective ways to improve your HeadSpace!

Make it a wonderful day!

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A Light-hearted Ode To Modern Technology

09.10.11

I love technology! it’s been a lifelong passion of mine to try to keep up with the latest and greatest gizmo. This now extends to new and exciting ‘apps’ for my iphone.  I discovered one called ‘HeyTell,’ a ‘cross-platform voice messenger that allows you to instantly talk with friends and family. No account needed–just start the app, choose a contact, and push the button to start talking!”

I thought: ‘Wow…this looks like a winner!”  I remember a few years back my sister and brother in law had such a miracle on their cell phones and could keep in touch with the rest of the family on their farm or across country…no minute usage. This is awesome!
So…being excited, i wanted to share it with my son, whose room is upstairs. Of course, I sent it to him in an instant message, and the conversation was as follows:
Phil: Hey Mike, check out ‘Hey Tell’ on the app store for your eyefone. turns it into a walkie talkie.. this is like what aunt lil and uncle jim had on their phones a few years back.

Michael: okay… when are we ever going to use or want that?

Phil: well.. if you just wanna talk and not incur minutes charges etc. for gazample

Mike: dad…i live right here!

Phil: you know what I mean

Mike: I really don’t

Phil: you live ‘up there’ LOL…I live ‘down here’

Mike: and through the wonders of modern stair technology we are connected

Phil:   hahahaah

Mike: Dad…i like that you’re instant messaging me to talk about a way we can finally communicate from downstairs to upstairs. there is a certain irony here.

Phil: I was thinking more for when one or the other or both are out of the house

Mike:  i would be more convinced if you had to use flailing hand signs and smoke signals to send this idea my way
…finally, a way we can speak! …even for that, it just seems kind of superfluous when we already have text messaging, phone calls, email, instant message, tin cans on string, yelling really loudly, etc.

Phil: But Mike.. let’s say you’re out somewhere and I need to  talk to you.  If you have the app running, you will here my melodious voice instantly.

Mike: and if i don’t have the app running, as would be far more likely, you’d have to call me like a normal person
…you have more than enough junk running your battery down as it is  so i’d doubt you would really be running this very often either.

Phil: well.. it seemed like a good idea at the time.

It REALLY did.

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He’s baaaaaack!

09.05.11

It never ceases to amaze me that hardly a week goes by without at least one or two people contacting me for advice.. Mostly about relationships or computers but mainly relationship stuff.
Having lost my first wife of 25 years to a car crash in July of 2000, and a few years later remarrying and divorcing shortly afterward, I pretty much felt like a failure in the relationship department. So…I read every bit of stuff I could find on relationships.. even did Dr. Phil’s “Relationship Rescue” book (AND the workbook), spent dozens of hours in counseling…hundreds of hours online with a bunch of great people who were at ojar.com (a site for divorced, separated and just plain relationship challenged people) back then. Those wonderful folks at ojar helped me through what was undeniably the deepest darkest swamp I’ve ever found myself in. All in the span of 5 years I lost two wives…sold my practice…moved away from where I was born and raised to a place where I knew no one. No job…no friends…being a single parent to a son who, thankfully, has grown into a wonderful 22 year old man. To top it off, an old love of mine, Claire, died suddenly a short time after we decided to get back together, so you might say I was pretty high up there on the stress scale.
I guess all this stuff, plus all the reading, soul searching and praying I did over the years, molded me into someone who people seem to trust with some of their deepest darkest secrets. I’ve got the uncanny ability to have people divulge things to me that they have never told anyone else.
I value their trust.
So… people call.. they email.. they instant message…they corner me when I go out. They tell me what’s going on with them or a family member or a friend, and, since I’ve learned that I do not have all the answers,  I ask them a lot of questions.
So I use Socratic questioning to help people delve deeply into themselves and their situations and frequently come up with their own solutions.
It’s a hoot!
Over the thirty + years of my chiropractic practice i found that I loved to help people. Leaving the practice left a huge gap in my soul and now I’ve come to be able to help people again. Some I help with formal coaching through HeadSpace Professional Coaching. Others I seem to help just by listening. It’s amazing how much a person can learn when someone listens to them.

I have to confess, helping others helps me too in a huge way.

Well it’s late, and I’ve got lots to do tomorrow and need to get up early, so I’ll end this here. I know it’s been a long time since my last entry and I intend to make blogging a daily habit from now on..
I hope you will find my words to be of comfort. I intend to go to great lengths to make you laugh…and think…and maybe laugh some more.
pjm

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Choices, longing, and the pursuit of shiny objects…

11.07.10

Each waking moment we’re presented with choices…what to wear, what to eat, who to see, what to say or not say, whom to love.

We all have choices, and the choices we make are based on so many factors:

Past experiences, deep seated wishes and desires, and simply wanting for the sake of wanting, Understanding the complexity of our deep seated desires can lead to a solid understanding of who we are and where we want to go, or to confusion. If we have no focus, if we find ourselves constantly hopping from one ‘shiny object’ to another, we can be easily swayed by those ‘shiny objects.’ Shiny objects can be people places or things, or our thoughts and attitudes, which serve no purpose but to fill a void, whether that void is perceived or real. This can make the difference between choices that are good for us or choices that do not serve us well.

The key is that,  even if we make a bad choice, we can learn and grow from the fallout of that choice if we…dare I say…’choose’ to do so.

 

Having what we want and wanting what we have…or wanting what we can’t have…

Life is all about choices. And making one choice…picking on thing over another…can often preclude having, doing, or being something else.

 

Sometimes we have what is best for us, yet there is this longing within us…based on our own insecurities, sometimes based on confusion, or sometimes just wondering about that ‘shiny object’ we see over there.  Sometimes it’s only about the feeling of ‘wanting’ for the sake of wanting. To satisfy some deeper inner conflict.  So we choose the shiny object, and often realize it wasn’t as shiny as we thought it was.

According to author Geneen Roth, it’s the wanting we want, not the having. “We never get down to the actuality of living….It takes great courage to admit the fantasy of wanting. Wanting loses its seductive power when you recognize that it might trap you instead of free you.”

 

Roth goes further and states:

What To Do About Wanting Besides Having.

On a practical level, it is important to put wanting into perspective by examining how it actually feels to want, by examining the fantasies it creates and how those fantasies keep you trapped in endless cycles of more wanting. To examine wanting vs having, complete the following:

 

• Things I want that I don’t have:

 

•Things I’ve wanted that I’ve gotten:

 

•Wanting allows me to:

 

•How my life would change if I got those things:

 

•How my life has changed now that I have what I wanted:

 

Look over your answers carefully. Check reality against fantasy. Think about people you know who have gotten the things you want. Are they happy? Do they have what you think having would bring you? And what about the things you already have? Did they create what you had hoped for? For how long? What happened to the wanting when it changes to having? Do you think next time will be different? How?

 

So…we think: if we choose the shiny object, just because we have this subconscious desire of wanting for the sake of wanting, to satisfy our insecurities and fears that we may have made a wrong choice in choosing something else, we endlessly go from one shiny object to another, spending our lives wanting instead of truly living. We choose that which we think will satisfy our longing, yet continually pursue what looks like a wonderful jewel, and miss the diamonds right there at our feet.

There is glitter and there is gold.

Choose wisely.